Trying To Forgive And Forget?

We’ve all heard it, and probably even said it ourselves. “Forgive and forget.” We’ve surely all tried. But how successful have we been?

Have you ever TRIED to forget an important password? Or tried to forget where you parked your car? Or tried to forget someone’s name? Tried to forget to mail in that $50 rebate form? Probably not. We can forget those things without even trying. But if you TRIED to forget, you would just be that much more sure to remember.

That’s a trap we can fall into with forgiveness. You can be absolutely sincere and determined to forgive and forget, but the harder you try to forget, the more you remember.

Then along comes the accuser, Satan. He says, “You’re supposed to forgive and forget. See? You haven’t forgotten, so you haven’t really forgiven. You know if you don’t forgive, God can’t forgive you. If God can’t forgive you, you don’t even have eternal life.” Then he tries to pile on the guilt and condemnation.

I’ve been there. I’ve heard that. There was a time when I believed that I really hadn’t forgiven, because I kept remembering. Then I began to see that it wasn’t really ME that was remembering. It was Satan bringing it up! Satan was the one reminding me, and then accusing and condemning ME for not forgetting! From then on, when those thoughts would come, I started saying, “Lord, search me, and show me if there’s anything I don’t see, but these thoughts are NOT in my heart. You know my heart. You know I have forgiven from my heart.” I got the assurances I needed from the Lord, so I just quit paying attention to the devil when he’d come whispering. Either that, or when he’d remind me, I’d just go to praying for that person. And I mean really praying down blessings on him… not some weak little “Lord, forgive him for being so bad to me” prayer. Eventually, when the devil saw that it was getting quite counterproductive to his plan, he quit reminding me.

Do you see how really evil this accuser of the brethren is? He’ll take some little thing, real or imagined, and blow it up. He’ll accuse your brother to you, and try to make you believe he has really hurt you, and committed some great sin against you, and God. He wants to make you bitter and resentful, and maybe even join him in accusing that brother to others, and wanting to see God’s judgment. If you fall for that, he then goes accusing YOU to God, of being bitter and resentful, and speaking evil of your brother… and tries to bring God’s judgment on YOU; when HE’S the one that talked you into the whole mess in the first place! THEN, he starts accusing you to yourself, and piling on the guilt and condemnation. What a vicious, destructive cycle!

This is not an excuse to relieve anyone of guilt or responsibility for not forgiving someone. You ought to know in your heart if you’ve truly forgiven. Especially, if you sincerely let God search your heart. We’ve got to know that we’re not hanging on to any kind of sin, and that we’re clean in God’s eyes. Then we also need to recognize that Satan is out to accuse and condemn the guilty AND the guiltless.

Though I’m specifically addressing forgiveness here, this really applies to a lot of other areas in a Christian’s life. How about we just expose that liar… that accuser? He actually looks pretty weak and foolish, when you get him out in the light.