One day I was at work, and I heard the Lord say to me, “Go to T J Maxx. Now.” Well, at least I THOUGHT it might be the Lord, but I wasn’t sure. It did seem kind of strange. I had never heard Him say anything like that before. But I’m really serious about wanting to be led by Spirit, and I’d been praying that God would use me, so I thought, “I might as well go, and see if this is the Lord, or just my own crazy thoughts.” So I got in my car and headed for T J Maxx. On the way, I got this feeling that there was someone there the Lord wanted me to talk to. Now I’m getting kind of pumped up.
Got there, parked the car, and looked toward the front door, and there was this girl sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, looking at some papers in her hand. The Lord said, “There. Go talk to her.” I thought, “Oh my, what’s that going to look like? Some guy old enough to be her dad, just walks up to her, and starts a conversation? What’s she going to think?” So I sat there, thinking about all kinds of what if’s. Finally, she got up and went inside the store. Then, of course, I felt like I had missed it, so I headed into the store, and finally spotted her, way in the back, talking to the manager. It looked like she was applying for a job, maybe even interviewing. I sure couldn’t interrupt now, so I headed out.
On the way out the door, there was a guy washing the storefront windows. The Lord said, “Share something with him”. Well, I wasn’t REALLY sure it was the Lord, so I walked on by him. As I passed him, I noticed he had a pretty strong, unpleasant B.O., so I was kind of glad I didn’t say anything to him. …Until I got in my car, and the Lord said, “That’s two.”
So now I’m sitting in my car feeling pretty bad. The window washing guy had left, and the girl hadn’t come back out. Then I noticed a lady walking across the parking lot, and the Lord said, “There. She could use some encouragement.” I thought, “She’s probably doesn’t have time to talk, and would probably be freaked out by some guy jumping out of his car, and approaching her.” So I stayed in my car. And the Lord said, “That’s three.”
Now I’m driving back to work, really feeling like a failure. Like God had given me the opportunity I had asked for, to prove that He could use me, and I totally FLUNKED the test! Three strikes! Would He EVER be able to use me? Was I just USELESS to God? Was I just fantasizing, to think I could preach the gospel, and do the works of Jesus, and greater?
But HERE COMES THE BIG LIFE-CHANGER!
The Lord spoke again, and said to me, “That’s OK. I’m actually PROUD of you. Not long ago, you wouldn’t even have heard my voice telling you to go, say nothing about actually getting up and going to where I could teach you this lesson. I’m training you. You’re learning.”
That stuff CHANGES you! HE LOVES ME! He wasn’t counting STRIKES against me, like I had thought. He was counting lessons learned. Now I’m not counting strikes against my brethren or any other man. I just want to see us all learn! And if somehow, someway, God can give me even some little thing that I can do or say, to help raise up the army of the Lord, I am SO determined not to miss it!
Yeah, I’ve still got plenty to learn, but I’M GET’N IT!
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